Written by Generation Archives. This is practical advice from the maker of a family tree app, not a professional oral-history method. It works with a notebook, a phone, or any tree software.

How to interview relatives for family history (with questions that work)

Published by Generation Archives on November 5, 2026.

The people who remember your family are the most valuable and least permanent source you have. A grandmother's memory of who lived on which street will never be in an archive unless someone asks. This guide covers how to prepare, what to ask, how to record, and how to turn the answers into something you can use in a tree.

Why an interview beats a questionnaire

Sending a list of questions by email rarely works. People answer the first two and stop. In conversation, one answer leads to the next question, and photographs, objects, and stories come out that no one thought to mention. If you cannot visit, a phone or video call is still better than a form.

Interviews also tell you things records cannot: what a grandfather was like, what the kitchen smelled like, what the family called each other. These are the details that make a tree worth reading.

Before the interview

Choose who to talk to first

Start with the oldest relatives, since their memories are the most at risk. Then add anyone who has a particular role: the sibling who kept the photo albums, the cousin who stayed in the hometown, the aunt who is "the one who knows." Do not skip people because you think you know what they will say. Siblings often remember the same event differently.

Ask, and say what it is for

Tell the person what you are doing and what will happen to the answers. "I'm putting together a family tree and I'd love to hear what you remember about your parents. I'll take notes, and I'll show you before I share anything." That promise matters, and you should keep it.

Prepare a short list

Write down five to ten questions, not fifty. Add the names of two or three people you want them to talk about. Bring a pedigree chart or a printed copy of what you already have, since people often react to names on a page.

Bring things to look at

Photographs are the best prompts. Bring copies of any you have, and ask the person to name the people in them and say where they were taken. Ask them to bring their own albums if they will.

Decide how you will record

Ask permission to record audio, and take written notes either way, since recordings fail and notes tell you what mattered. A phone voice recorder is enough. Put it near the person and test it.

During the interview

Let them talk. Do not correct dates or names mid-story. Write "check" and move on.
Ask open questions such as "Tell me about..." instead of yes or no questions.
Follow detours. The story about the car that broke down on the way to the wedding may give you the wedding date.
Ask for names in full. "Your uncle Bill: was that William? What was his last name?"
Ask about uncertainty. "How sure are you about the year?" gives you a source note you can use.
Keep it short. An hour is plenty, and you can schedule a second visit.

Questions by topic

Pick the topics that fit the person. You will not use all of these.

About themselves

Where and when were you born? Who was there?
What were you called as a child? Did you have a nickname?
Where did you go to school? What do you remember about it?
What was your first job?

About their parents and grandparents

What were your parents' full names, including your mother's maiden name?
Where were they born, and when?
What did they do for work?
What did you call your grandparents?
Do you remember anything they said about where the family came from?

About brothers, sisters, and cousins

Who were your brothers and sisters, in birth order?
Were there any children who died young, or who nobody talks about?
Who were your cousins on each side, and where did they live?

About places

Where did the family live, and when did they move?
What did the house look like? Who lived in it?
Do you remember the name of the farm, the church, the street, the shop?

About events

Who was at the wedding? Where was it held?
Where were you when a major event happened, such as a war ending?
What did the family do for holidays?

About photographs and objects

Who is this? Where was this taken? About what year?
Who has the original?
Is there a Bible, a box, a trunk, or a drawer where these things were kept?

About stories and sayings

What did the family say that nobody outside the family would understand?
What recipe, song, or saying do you remember from your mother or grandmother?
Is there a family story you are not sure is true?

Questions to ask last

Who else should I talk to?
Is there anything you want written down that I have not asked about?
Is there anything you would like me to leave out?

That last question is worth asking every time.

Interviewing people who find it hard

If someone says "I do not remember anything," start with a photograph or an object. Hand them a picture and ask what they see.

If someone gets emotional, stop recording, and let them decide whether to go on. A family tree can wait. Some topics, such as a death, an estrangement, or an adoption, may need a different conversation at a different time.

If a relative wants to talk about someone still living, be careful about what you write down. See what to record about living people.

If you disagree, do not argue. Record what they said as they said it.

After the interview

Do these within a day, while you still remember the details.

Type up your notes. Fill in the parts you abbreviated.
Label the recording with the person's name and the date. A file name like 2026-11-05-june-hale-interview.m4a sorts well.
Write a source note. "Phone conversation with June Hale, 5 November 2026. Notes typed the same day." See how to cite a photo, letter, or interview.
Mark uncertain facts. If someone said "either 1931 or 1932," write that, not a single year.
Enter what you learned. Add new people to your tree or pedigree chart, and add notes to existing people.
List the follow-up questions. You will have some.
Thank them, and tell them what you did with what they said.

Turning answers into tree entries

A good interview produces three kinds of material.

Facts such as names, dates, and places. Put them on the person, with a note saying who gave them.
Relationships, such as who married whom and who the parents were. Record them, and flag any that conflict.
Stories, which belong in the person's notes or biography.

In Generation Archives, each person has notes and a biography, and you can tag people in photos, so a story can sit next to the person it is about and the picture they appear in. You can try the demo without signing up. Trees are private by default, visible only to you and relatives you invite. How to start a family tree has the full beginner checklist.

Frequently asked questions

What if my relative does not want to be recorded?

Take notes by hand, or just listen and write afterward. Their comfort matters more than a perfect record.

How many questions should I ask?

Fewer than you think. Five to ten good questions, plus follow-ups, fill an hour.

Should I show the person what I wrote?

Yes, if you can. They will often catch errors and add details, and it builds trust. Send a short summary or read it to them.

Can I interview someone by phone or video?

Yes. It is not as good as sitting down with a photo album, but it is a lot better than not asking. Ask them to hold photographs up to the camera, or ask a family member nearby to help.

What if two relatives give different answers?

Keep both, and write who said each. A record can settle it later. See how to start a family tree from your grandparents.

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