Written by Generation Archives. This is practical advice for any shared family tree, not a legal opinion. We make a private tree, and the same care applies there.
What to record about a living person, and what to leave off a shared tree
A family tree is full of living people. Children, siblings, and cousins are the reason many of us start one. They are also the people who did not agree to be published. A tree you keep for the family can hold more than a tree that anyone with the link can open. Decide which kind you are making before you type the details.
Worth recording
For a living relative, the useful core is small:
- The name they use, and a legal name if it differs
- A birth year, or a full date if the family already treats it as known
- Where they fit: parents, spouse or partner, and children
- A short note in their own words, if they offered one
- A photo they are happy to have in the family album
That is enough to show who is who at a reunion twenty years from now. Maiden names and previous surnames matter, including for people who are alive. Nicknames matter too, because that is how the rest of the family searches.
Ask before you add a story about a living person. "Can I put this in the family tree?" takes one sentence. People are often glad to be included and specific about what they want left out.
Leave these off a tree other people can open
Some facts are ordinary inside a household and harmful in a group chat. If more than the people you invited can open the tree, skip:
- Full birth dates of children, when a year is enough
- Home addresses, phone numbers, and email addresses
- Schools, workplaces, and daily routines
- Health, adoption details the person has not chosen to share, and anything told to you in confidence
- Copies of identity documents, even cropped
A name and a place in the family rarely need a street address beside them. The address belongs in your own contacts, not on a chart a distant cousin can save.
Living people can also be omitted entirely. Some families add children as "private" or leave a count ("two children") until those children are old enough to decide. Either choice is kinder than a complete public profile of a minor.
Private tree, smaller audience
A private tree still is not a diary. Anyone you invite can read what you typed, and they can copy it. Write as if a cousin will read it aloud. That usually means no medical details, no account of a divorce that is not yours to tell, and no joke that only made sense at the time.
If a story is important and sensitive, keep it in a letter stored with one person, and put a single line on the tree: "See the letter held by the family." The tree stays accurate without becoming a file of other people's secrets.
When someone asks to be removed
Take the request. Delete the story, the photo, or the extra facts. A name and a parent link may need to stay so the rest of the chart still makes sense. Talk about that. "I will remove the photo and the birth date, and leave your name as your children's parent" is a clear offer. Do not argue someone into staying fully written up.
Check the share setting before you add the next fact
Before you paste a paragraph, look at who can open the tree. If the answer is "anyone with the link," write less. If the answer is "three siblings," you can write a little more, and you should still ask. The audience changes. A tree that was private last year may have a public link today. Details you were comfortable sharing with a sister are now comfortable with strangers only if you decide that again.
Record the living family with the same care you would want for yourself.
Frequently asked questions
Can I list a living person's name?
Yes, in a tree shared with family who already know them. On a tree strangers can open, many people use a name and nothing else, or they wait.
Should I include a child's full birth date?
On a private tree used by parents and grandparents, a full date is often how you tell two cousins apart. On anything wider, a year is enough, and some families skip children until they can choose.
What if I already shared too much?
Remove the extra facts and the photos, then tell the person you did. A link that has already been forwarded is not fully recalled, which is why the first version should have been the smaller one.
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